Ticket #3505: untitled-part.html

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3        <title>Newsletter</title>
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24<div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size: 2px; margin-left: 40px;">ved with his parents to South Park to escape his forgotten past. He quickly allies with Butters, Princess Kenny and their leader Cartman. Nicknamed &quot;Douchebag&quot;, the New Kid is introduced to the coveted Stick of Truth. Shortly thereafter, the elves attack Kupa Keep and take the Stick. Cartman banishes Clyde from the group for failing to defend the Stick from the elves. With the help of Cartman&#39;s best warriors, Douchebag recovers the Stick from Jimmy. That night, Douchebag and several town residents are abducted by aliens. Douchebag escapes his confinement with the help of Stan&#39;s father, Randy, and crashes the alien ship into the town&#39;s mall. By morning, the UFO crash site has been sealed off by the government, who has put out a cover-story that claims a Taco Bell is being built. Douchebag visits Kupa Keep and learns that the Stick has again been stolen by the elves. Cartman and Kyle task D
25 ouchebag with recruiting the Goth kids for their respective sides, each claiming that the other has the Stick. Randy agrees to help Douchebag recruit the Goths after Douchebag infiltrates the crash site and discovers that government agents are plotting to blow up the town in order to destroy an alien goo released from the ship. The goo turns living creatures into Adolf Hitler-esque Nazi Zombies; an infected person escapes government containment, unleashing the virus on South Park. That night, Cartman or Kyle (dependent on which character the player chooses to follow) leads his side against the other at the school. Here, the children learn that Clyde stole the Stick as revenge for his banishment. Clyde rallies defectors from the humans and elves, and uses the alien goo to create an army of Nazi Zombies. The humans and elves join together to oppose Clyde but there are too few to fight him. Later, Gnomes steal Douchebag&#39;s underpants; after defeating them, Douchebag gains the abilit
26 y to change size at will. Out of desperation, Douchebag is told to invite the girls to play. They agree to join after Douchebag infiltrates an abortion clinic and travels across Canada to discover which of their friends is spreading gossip. Flanked by the girls, kindergarten pirates, and Star Trek role-players, the humans and elves attack Clyde&#39;s dark tower. Randy arrives and reveals that the government agents have planted a nuclear device in Mr. Slave&#39;s anus to blow up South Park, forcing Douchebag to shrink and enter Mr. Slave to disarm the bomb. After exiting Mr. Slave, Douchebag finally confronts Clyde and is forced to fight a resurre</div>
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