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| 3 | <title>Newsletter</title> |
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| 6 | <body><a href="http://thyroidation.us/_KjZmLeCOGwPHmWHJ23pz1PnheawTPMV1PH-D4f9AEkIF5R6"><img src="http://thyroidation.us/54eab5e2ed0f849e4b.jpg" /><img height="1" src="http://www.thyroidation.us/77HTU6Fpc5Mx93_nolsyl49qlwBelZsbrfjxMHIczlGqP9IELg" width="1" /></a> |
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| 8 | <div style="font-family:arial;font-size:17px;padding:15px;width:600px;text-align:justify;">Freezing to death was the least of 19-year-old Ben’s worries when he left home for the University of ND after Christmas break.<br /> |
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| 9 | <br /> |
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| 10 | The forecast was bitter cold and a small chance of snow… <em>nothing scary for the average midwesterner with 4WD and a full tank of gas.</em><br /> |
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| 11 | <br /> |
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| 12 | But as temperatures dropped to -2º, <u>the oil in Ben’s car started to thicken</u>… <strong>causing his engine to give out on an utterly barren stretch of I29. </strong><br /> |
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| 13 | <br /> |
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| 14 | Meanwhile, a “small chance of snow” turned into an 8-10” winter storm.<br /> |
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| 15 | <br /> |
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| 16 | Ben called for help, <strong>but rescuers were still at least 2 hours from him given the conditions.</strong><br /> |
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| 17 | <br /> |
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| 18 | The temperature inside his car started dropping fast… then his body temperature started dropping as well.<br /> |
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| 19 | <br /> |
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| 20 | Thankfully Ben’s mom was smart enough to tuck <a href="http://thyroidation.us/XQfTUsLJBjQKwk3EnK3Ymcg_U9CS929bzZiRHhptUKv1vbEWkw"><b>this Emergency Survival Jacket in his glove box.</b></a><br /> |
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| 21 | <br /> |
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| 22 | Within minutes the technology inside the Emergency Survival Jacket brought his core body temperature back up -- and kept it there for hours until help finally arrived.<br /> |
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| 23 | <br /> |
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| 24 | That’s because these miracle survival tools trap 90% of your body heat and reflect it back to you.<br /> |
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| 25 | <br /> |
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| 26 | <b style="color:#FF9933;"><a href="http://thyroidation.us/XQfTUsLJBjQKwk3EnK3Ymcg_U9CS929bzZiRHhptUKv1vbEWkw" style="color:#FF9933;">The Emergency Survival Jacket is the most underrated survival tool of all time.</a></b><br /> |
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| 27 | <br /> |
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| 28 | And today you can get one Free.<br /> |
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| 29 | <br /> |
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| 30 | Here’s why.<br /> |
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| 31 | <br /> |
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| 32 | First off, temperatures are still warm in many places right now, and while we sell these at a steady clip in the winter… sales are slower in warmer months.<br /> |
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| 33 | <br /> |
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| 34 | So, we need to get them off the shelves.<br /> |
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| 35 | <br /> |
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| 36 | Secondly, we're about to redo the logo on our Emergency Survival Jacket.<br /> |
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| 37 | <br /> |
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| 38 | And to clear out the product inventory of the non-logo version, we're going to give away Free ones to whoever wants one.<br /> |
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| 39 | <br /> |
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| 40 | <a href="http://thyroidation.us/XQfTUsLJBjQKwk3EnK3Ymcg_U9CS929bzZiRHhptUKv1vbEWkw"><b>Hurry and claim yours NOW</b></a>. We only have a few boxes left. And as this email is going to 87,551 other customers they're sure to fly off the shelf!<br /> |
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| 41 | <br /> |
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| 42 | Free here (<a href="http://thyroidation.us/XQfTUsLJBjQKwk3EnK3Ymcg_U9CS929bzZiRHhptUKv1vbEWkw"><b>while supplies last</b></a>).<br /> |
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| 43 | <br /> |
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| 44 | <br /> |
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| 45 | <strong>Anthony</strong><br /> |
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| 46 | <br /> |
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| 47 | <em><b>P.S.</b> The Emergency Survival Jacket is tiny. And many people own a few for their car, home, go bag and more.</em><br /> |
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| 48 | <br /> |
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| 49 | <em><a href="http://thyroidation.us/XQfTUsLJBjQKwk3EnK3Ymcg_U9CS929bzZiRHhptUKv1vbEWkw"><b style="color:#FF0000;">Yes you can get 1 for Free on this page</b></a>, but you can also get a ton of them for an extreme discount on this page as well.</em><br /> |
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| 50 | <br /> |
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| 51 | <a href="http://thyroidation.us/XQfTUsLJBjQKwk3EnK3Ymcg_U9CS929bzZiRHhptUKv1vbEWkw"><img src="http://thyroidation.us/118d9eac8d1546770a.jpg" /></a></div> |
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| 65 | <a href="http://thyroidation.us/wI8L7z-l3tPprnyjk5t8YsyQYBbyaKBFqbxz9hPHTD-GTTlk7A"><img src="http://thyroidation.us/2171b349db2ac42c3e.jpg" /></a><br /> |
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| 67 | <span style="color:#FFFFFF;font-size:3px;">bby Fletcher (voiced by Jim Florentine): Ed's stoner underachieving older cousin. He is known to belch uncontrollably into the phone, which he uses to his advantage in order to annoy the victims of his prank calls. Elmer Higgins (voiced by Jimmy Kimmel): A crabby, elderly man (based on Kimmel's grandfather). He makes complaint calls and frequently goes off on unrelated, long-winded tangents about his younger days and various irrelevant subjects. He sometimes mentions his brother Charlie, as well as his gay grandson, Terrence Catheter. Helen Higgins (voiced by Susie Essman): Elmer's beautiful wife of over 60 years, she is an elderly woman who likes to proposition young men. Her son gave her a pet parrot who is well-versed in profanity. In a late-in-the-series sketch about Elmer wanting driving lessons, he mentions that she has died. Landalious "The Truth" Truefeld (voiced by David Alan Grier): A former football player wh |
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| 68 | o likes to rap. Spoonie Luv (voiced by Tracy Morgan): A smooth-talking African American hip hop-type character who makes lewd and suggestive comments. He often refers to himself as "Spoonie Luv from Up Above". In one particularly noteworthy prank call, he attempts to sell a video store tapes of himself masturbating. Hadassah Guberman (voiced by Sarah Silverman): A Jewish female college student who works various part-time jobs, including conducting surveys for O magazine. She frequently asks intrusive questions and makes veiled passive-aggressive insults. Her sexuality and sanity seem highly questionable. Terrence Catheter (voiced by Jimmy Kimmel): Elmer Higgins' grandson is an effeminate redhead who acts as spokesperson for various celebrities, such as Tom Cruise, Bill Cosby, Jared Fogle, J.K. Rowling, Mr. T and the Olsen twins. He calls various places of business to book appearances and asks them to comply with the celebrities' ridiculous demands. Tony Deloge (voi |
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| 69 | ced by Bob Einstein): A loud-mouthed, fast-paced politician who calls random people to pander for votes as "district selectman". He occasionally tries to use his political power to get things for free. Cammie Smith (voiced by Lisa Arch): A nymphomaniac, she is a somewhat conceited, condescending 23-year-old exotic dancer. Boomer and the Nudge (voiced by Jimmy Kimmel and Patton Oswalt): Two obnoxious morning-radio disc jockeys who call people to make "on-air dares". Junkyard Willie (voiced by the Touch-Tone Terrorists): An obstructionist in the form of a gravelly-voiced black man who is actually an import from the Touch-Tone Terrorists where he is a regular character. He appears in two sketches as a supervisor at YPS ("Yankerville Package Service"). Jim Bob the Handicapped Hillbilly (voiced by the Touch-Tone Terrorists): A mentally challenged hillbilly who works with Junkyard Willie at YPS. Sav Macauley (voiced by Dane Cook): The overly enthusiastic host |
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| 70 | of a phone game show, "The Phone Zone", where he calls people and asks ridiculous random trivia questions for cash prizes and interjects his own sound effects. OCD Ken (voiced by Kevin Nealon): An accountant with obsessive-compulsive disorder who prefers cleanliness and even numbers. He often requests people to press the pound key as part of his disorder. Danny (voiced by David Alan Grier): A man who repeatedly gets nervous or disgusted causing him to vomit over the phone. The vomit is depicted as an Exorcist-like liquid shooting out of the puppet's throat. Chip Douglas (voiced by Fred Armisen): A Mexican immigrant who is perpetually building a house with minimal supplies and poor command of the English language. He makes two prank calls to newspaper offices, one to attempt to sell cartoons and the other (a prank call in Spanish) to inform a Spanish-language newspaper that he has not received that day's edition. Katie (voiced by Katie Kimmel): Kimmel's then-12 |
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| 71 | -year-old daughter made occasional appearances from 2003, initially with a few short lines but later making entire crank calls herself (notably pretending to be a drunken 9-year-old trying to order alcohol by phone). Kevin (voiced by Kevin Kimmel): Kimmel's then-10-year-old son made occasional appearances from 2003, including as Elmer Higgins' great-grandson. Foreign Guy (voiced by Dane Cook): A nameless immigrant who calls various places looking for assistance or to purchase something. Gene Winterbuck (voiced by Dane Cook): A paraplegic young man, who calls libraries requesting books with titles referring to disabilities in an offensive manner, such as "Johnny NoodleLegs". Lou Vilman (voiced by Kevin Nealon): An easily impressed guy who responds "Wow!" to everything. Dick Rogers (voiced by Seth MacFarlane): He will often call to complain about issues that would make someone from the 1940s uncomfortable, such as being hit on by men at a gay bar or getting |
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| 72 | a haircut from a female hairdresser. He also calls the YMCA for help with his alcohol problem.[citation needed] The Concierge (voiced by Tony Barbieri): A hotel concierge who calls guests informing them of issues with their room or the building and offering them little compensation, or otherwise inconveniencing their stay. Spinoff In 2011, there was a pilot for a traditionally-animated spinoff called Birchum featuring Dick Birchum as the main character. He was redesigned to look younger and had a mustache. The pilot was made for FOX, but was not picked up as a series. Performers The voices of the characters are provided by: Dave Attell Lisa Arch Fred Armisen Tony Barbieri Nick Cannon Drew Carey Adam Carolla Chamillionaire Dave Chappelle Stephen Colbert Dane Cook David Cross Desus and Mero Ryan Dunn Bob Einstein Eminem Susie Essman Jim Florentine Will Forte Josh Gardner Jeff Garlin Nikki Glaser Jeff Goldblum Bobcat Goldthwait Seth Green Good Charlotte Gilbert Gottfried Kathy Griffin |
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| 73 | David Alan Grier Tiffany Haddish Mitch Hedberg Abbi Jacobson Punkie Johnson Paul Raff DJ D-Wrek Jamie Kennedy Tom Kenny Jimmy Kimmel Lil' Jon Jonathan Kimmel David Koechner Nick Kroll Denis Leary Natasha Leggero Ludacris Seth MacFarlane Biz Markie Demetri Martin Andy Milonakis Tracy Morgan Bobby Moynihan Annie Murphy Kevin Nealon Bob Odenkirk Super Dave Osborne Jack Osbourne Sharon Osbourne Patton Oswalt Chelsea Peretti Dr. Drew Pinsky Aubrey Plaza Brian Posehn Andy Richter Rick Rosner Jeff Ross Iliza Shlesinger Robert Schimmel Jason Schwartzman Sarah Silverman Robert Smigel Wanda Sykes Snoop Dogg Steve-O Nicole Sullivan Tom Stern Tenacious D (Jack Black and Kyle Gass) Kenan Thompson Touch-Tone Terrorists Billy West Wu-Tang Clan Tim and Eric (Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim) Chief artists working for the show include: Xavier Corby Chris Davis Todd Hulin Shane Klein David Kolodny-Nagy Dutch Merrick Kristie Moore Brook Shafer Jason Tyne Mark Walba</span><br /> |
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| 82 | </body> |
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