Version 42 (modified by cotto, 5 years ago)

Austin figures out the magic words.

This page documents some of the amusing things said in #parrot. It's not really useful, but it helps with -Ofun. Feel free to add your own quotes (preferably from #parrot or parrot-devel).

Whiteknight> i'm going to solve this issue if it kills me
Whiteknight> and then I'm going to be all like "oh noes, it killz me! LOL"
particle> don't touch that code! it worked yesterday. mostly.
chromatic> Mac OS X will eventually provide a single header, called "oohshiny.h"
           with a single function called "NSPushCandyColoredButton()".
Coke>      I am drooling in anticipation of how shiny that button is!
cotto>     now to tackle "DOD"
moritz>    department of defense? ;-)
szbalint>  dangers of drinking
Infinoid>  Donuts On Demand
chromatic> Donut Order Detection
moritz>    doughnuts of desaster
szbalint>  DOD Ought Dereference
chromatic> DOD of Recursing Daemons
Infinoid>  devil's own doggy
Infinoid>  deathtrap of despair
particle>    $haze_the_new_guy->()
whiteknight> am I still the new guy?
particle>    if you have to ask...
whiteknight> damnit
particle>  i'll work on a shell alias for maek without a macarthur grant.
particle>  i'm not proud.
chromatic> Scab.  You're pushing wages down.
chromatic> ...and I'll slap the hand of anyone who suggests that we need to *mark* and *sweep* 
           these elements -- if you're lucky.  If you're not lucky, I'll take away your birthday.
Whiteknight> well, I'm sorry to hear that. Speaking of wireless networking, I'm about 30 seconds 
             away from breaking my goddamned router into a billion pieces
Infinoid>    chances are, it isn't running my code then :)
Whiteknight> no, it's some piece of shit netgear router. worst. router. ever.
rurban>      who in the world buys this crap
Infinoid>    Whiteknight, apparently
Whiteknight> We have an RT ticket that requests the creation of a BigNum PMC. ergo, I am writing one
Whiteknight> and when we decide that it's a stupid thing to have, we can open a second ticket to have it removed
Whiteknight> ...and I'll rake in the karma on both transactions :)
Coke> We do not need to reinvent every wheel. We're already reinventing several as it stands.
chromatic> But we have backwards compatibility with Perl 4 to consider, so we can't change too much.
chromatic> Want to work on a GC?
PerlJam>   GC is completely opaque to me other than general concepts.
chromatic> Then you're qualified.
Coke>        Whiteknight: lucky for your, partcl doesn't use pct.
Coke>        *you
Whiteknight> what does partcl use instead?
jonathan>    Whiteknight: It's written in a combination of bf and lolcode.
Whiteknight> oh great, I can just imagine what a recursive descent parser must look like in bf
chromatic>   Just like any other bf code, really.
NotFound> PerlJam: at least you realize that others countries exists ;)
pmichaud> NotFound:  PerlJam and I are in Texas, so yes -- we know about the other 49 countries.
davidfetter> sam adams?!? in portland? i'd think in a brewpub town like portland, he'd lose on the name alone
Whiteknight> yeah, that's why his opponent, Guinnes McBudweiser lost
Infinoid>  I didn't distill anything, I just wrote it from scratch with malice aforethought.
chromatic> Good.  I'm concerned that we haven't done that enough recently.
* NotFound thinks about developping a floating point format with negative NaN
Infinoid> how could you tell the difference between that and positive NaN?
NotFound> Infinoid: that's the beauty of that design
Infinoid> you could use negative NaN the way some perl 5 code uses "0 but true"
NotFound> Will look nice: a = NaN but negative :)
Infinoid> "They're just like normal NaN!  Except they're EVIL."
NotFound> Wait, NaN is already evil enough :D
japhb>       OK, popping that discussion off the stack ...
             we clearly support gcc 3.4.  How much older than that do we still support?
rurban>      3.3 ?
particle>    no
davidfetter> stack? i thought we used registers here ;)
particle>    and don't even ask about 2.7
rurban>      2.95 is still quite popular in academia
chromatic>   Academia should freakin' go outside once in a while.
japhb>       chromatic++
NotFound>  "put exit at bottom or die" is valid perl6?
moritz>    it's just a string literal ;)
NotFound>  moritz: don't take it too literay
NotFound>  literaly
Infinoid>  metaphors are very literary.
particle>  i never met a phor i didn't like (or is)
chromatic> I never metamodel not obsessed with reflection.
alvar>       allison: would it be a good idea to build something which
             relies on threads on the current implementation?
allison>     alvar: you will likely run into some rough spots in the
             current threading implementation, but a real use for the
             threads implementation is a great way to shake out the bugs
allison>     alvar: so, I guess it depends on whether you're more of a
             "mountain bike" or "racing bike" kind of programmer
Whiteknight> what's the difference?
Whiteknight> ...besides the number of crashes
Infinoid>    big gnarly wheels and a penchant for running over small
             woodland creatures
allison>     alvar: "mountain bike" would be enjoying exploring rugged
             terrain, not minding a few bumps
particle>    the racing bike programmer wears a funny hat, too
chromatic>   If a mountain biker sees a goat, that's wonderful.
             If a racing biker sees a goat, something's wrong.
chromatic> We're still bound by the metaphysics of the language which state
           that there is no computer but a PDP and K&R is its prophet.
Tene> Wait, you mean I need to READ?
Tene> I don't like the sound of this project.
Tene> Arson is a significantly underused motivational technique.
pmichaud> a failed Match is one where .to < .from
moritz> so you don't support reversed Match objects? ;-)
pmichaud> I do not.
pmichaud> *something* has to be straight>forward< somewhere!
pmichaud> :-P
PerlJam> Just following the precedent of the arrow of time?  :)
pmichaud> It's a darn good precedent, and anyone who disagrees can go 
          back and fix it.
Coke> ... you know, I really am not a fan of doing xml and text manipulation in Cold Fusion. :P
particle> i know a language you can use to make that fun.
particle> c!
Infinoid> I've yet to find a language in which xml manipulation was fun.
confound> LOLCAT
* Infinoid shudders at the thought of doing xslt transforms in lolcode
chromatic> You can remove "in lolcode" from that sentence and it's still true.
particle> Infinoid: you obviously haven't been introduced to LOLPATH
chromatic> svn: Working copy path 'docs/book/appb_patch_submission.pod' does not exist in repository
chromatic> Joy.
chromatic> That's almost enough to make me want to put on leather pants and let Git hit me in the 
           head with a baseball bat again.
bacek> whatever :)
bacek> English is my forth language.
bacek> After Russian, Rude Russian and Very Very Rude Russian :)
chromatic> Okay, serious question time.  Why are some functions in src/gc/dod.c marked with PARROT_API?
chromatic> "Hello embedders!  I sweep the memory pools and make allocated thingies go away!  
           Call me sometime big boy!"
tewk>          If I add a STRING ATTR to a PMC do I need to write a custom mark routine?
wknight-work>  I would, yes
Tene>          It's gotten to the point where I think someone's talking about lolcode
               whenever I see people using ALL CAPS for a few words.
wknight-work>  i can haz all caps?
Infinoid>      caps lock is cruise control for AWESOME
Tene>          Yes, but you still need to steer.
TimToady>      that's a bunch of bull

<nothing happens for 10 minutes>

TimToady>      .oO(was it something I said?)
Infinoid>      no, it was nothing...
Infinoid> So, um, if we must check the return value of Parrot_io_peek now, what should the peek op do
          if it receives the error?  Return ""?  Toss an exception?
bacek>    Eat kittens?
bacek>    O wait...
Infinoid> mmm, kittens
Infinoid> eating kittens is not O(1) tho
bacek>    hmm.. O(n) isn't bad either
Infinoid> Parrot_io_kittens_eat(interp, pmc_new(enum_class_Kitten))
Infinoid> I'll make it return "" and see whether tests pass.
bacek>    Hmm... We can add Kitten in Core PMCs.
bacek>    Are you sure that it should be _io_ prefixed?
Infinoid> Eating kittens seems like an input operation to me
moritz>   Parrot_i_kittens_eat(...) :-)
Infinoid> maybe it should be classified as parsing, though.
bacek>    It will require some output later :)
moritz>   no, kittens are physically unique in that they can be turned into free energy, to 100%
* bacek is not very good writer in polite english.
jonathan>  bacek: Just try and limit yourself to one swear word per sentnece. :-)
bacek>     My dictionary for technical discussions usually includes words like "crap", "bullshit" 
           and "OMG, do you really thinks using your brains?"
* jonathan looks forward to an email containing all three
jonathan>  You never really know a language until you know how to swear in it too. :-)
szbalint>  that's bullsh..I mean you're completely right :)
darbelo>  We are, like, totally optimal now.
* bacek spent few hours on Keys, Iterators and Hashes...
bacek>     I have one question - who designed it? So I can visit him with baseball bat in hands...
chromatic> I'm not sure anyone designed it.
bacek>     oh shi...
chromatic>  Make up a plan for what to do, and we'll see what we can do.
bacek>      ok. I'll try to make some .plan without using my favourite sentences about technical design.
chromatic> "You are all idiots.  I've known monkeys who can write code better than you.  You are the universe's 
            version of technical debt.  I've sneezed better programs than you could ever write."
bacek>      Something like this :)
chromatic>  "There is a picture of your program next to the word CRACK in the dictionary."
bacek>      Small mistake. It's after "CRAP" :)
chromatic>  "If dmr read your program, he would invent time travel to prevent himself from inventing C so 
            that you could never perpetuate such horror upon the world."
bacek>      dmr?
purl>       well, dmr is Dennis Ritchie, author of Unix and C; he is our Grey Eminence, and King. or at 
chromatic>  "The only thing worse than your code is the compiler which allowed it."
bacek>      wow, we did you get it? I need this source of wisdom for my day-to-day technical discussions!
bacek>      s/we/where/
NotFound>    I don't see a close method in the socket pmc.
Whiteknight> how does an open socket become closed then?
chromatic>   Velociraptors.
Whiteknight> damnit, the velociraptors didn't make it into the branch
NotFound>    goto close;
TimToady>    whew, that was a close call...
pmichaud>     "Write a good code profiler, get free brownies. Can't beat that."
Coke>         what if I write a crappy one? ;)
Whiteknight>  NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!
pmichaud>     your brownies are still free, but they have side effects
Whiteknight>  crappy profiler == crappy brownies

From Yapc10/PVMW:

Austin_Hastings> What are you doing to parrot?
Whiteknight> I buttocks parrot
"I may never wash my car again."
 - Whiteknight, after giving Larry a ride during YAPC10
"I'm a luminary now."
  - particle
"I'm going to go look that up."
  - jhorwitz
"Remember, until you admit there is a solution, there is no problem."
  - particle
    (commenting on the stance of jhorwitz's clueless ex-manager)
cotto> but I take taking myself seriously seriously
moritz>       you must be doing something wrong :-)
Whiteknight>  I'm usually doing something wrong :)
Infinoid> Actually I've been threatening to show up at Whiteknight's house 
          with a pizza one of these days anyway
kid51>    The only fundamental difference between your showing up at Whiteknight's 
          house with pizza and a full-fledged hackathon is that the hackathon is announced 
          in advance and is open admission.
kid51>    Much pizza is consumed at hackathons.
Infinoid> getting it to work on win32 will require going to the win32 machine in the living room,
          which also implies getting out of bed, so I am carefully ordering my priorities
chromatic> Yes, they're tied together like two things tied together.
   * Tene ties chromatic to chromatic.
chromatic> I can defeat you with mitosis.
<Coke> bacek_at_work: I disagree, but not enough to argue.
<bacek_at_work> Coke: where "language spec" tests should go?
<Coke> "this is me, not arguing."
<Coke> a proc that has about 1000 * that length takes about 8s to compile.
<chromatic> Wow.
<Coke> a proc that has about 2000 * that length takes about 35s to compile.
<chromatic> Big O, Little O... I'm the one with the gun.
darbelo>     Boy, is the code to freeze PMCs ehm... special.
chromatic>   Very.
Whiteknight> NO SARCASM!
Whiteknight> that code is shit and will be addressed as such
<Austin> I can't even spell PMC.
<chromatic> I'd explain exactly how and why it's wrong, but you don't 
            want to know and, despite my reputation for barbaric and 
            unprovoked hostility, I respect your blissful ignorance of 
            this small evil.
Coke> retrying with head...
      damnit, it works again.
      I mean, YAY.
darbelo>  Sounds good to me. Write a preprocessor and make everybody happy. Well, 
          except Coke, but he should be used to that by now.
dukeleto>    anybody have any thoughts about Go?
Whiteknight> isn't that a game that I'm terrible at?
             dukeleto: that looks very interesting
Austin>      Dude, that language will never succeed.
             Remember the rule.
plobsing>    and what rule is that exactly?
Austin>      No language with ':=' will ever succeed.
plobsing>    touche
Austin>      It's the operator of doom.
Austin>     ... There's never a committer around when you need one.
Austin>     Maybe I should say "donuts"
Austin>     See if one shows up.
chromatic>  A donut or a committer?
Austin>     Works every time